Many people struggle with their actions and feelings around finances. This can be especially distressing for those who earn a competitive salary, yet find themselves struggling to understand where their money goes and why they aren’t saving enough. Money relationships can be very complicated and are unique for each individual, but the first step toward healing is taking small action.
Are you terrified to open your credit card statement? Do you feel like you’re playing credit card roulette when you’re swiping to buy another pair of jeans, thinking “it’s OK, I’ll pay it off someday...”? While it’s imperative to know whether there is actually enough money in your account to buy that latte, it’s just as important to understand why you’re refusing to sign into your bank account.
For as long as money has existed, it has been a taboo subject. Maybe you’ve heard that it’s “rude” to talk about money, or perhaps that it’s “tacky”. Phrases like these get thrown around, making us feel unsafe about financial discussion. This discomfort ultimately causes many of us to make poor decisions around spending and saving, due to fear.
On the other side of the emotional spectrum with money, it is a necessity for the basic needs for a human to feel safe and ultimately grounded (through the purchase of food and shelter.). It can also give us the freedom to travel, support businesses or charities, or sign up for that art class we’ve been wanting to do for months. Money itself is not evil; it’s an essential element in both fulfilling and sustaining life.
And therein lies the problem with not healing your relationship with money… If we do not heal from the relationship with money we were raised with and subconsciously learned over time, we can make poor decisions or be held back from living our most rich (monetarily and emotionally) lives.
So what are some things you can do to start healing your relationship with money? Here are a few tips and tricks to get started:
1. Take a deep breath, and open your credit card or bank statement every single day. Create the habit so you always know what your balance is and you feel in control. This can be very scary for some people - so doing a calming activity first may help. Something like a simple grounding meditation before you peek at your account balance can help put you in the right state of mind to face it. Once you get into a regular habit of checking, the fear, shock, or surprise element of the process won’t be an issue. In time, you might even look forward to this daily routine!
2. Journal about what money meant to your parents growing up. How did they talk about it? What words or emotional reactions were associated with money when it was talked about in your household growing up? Was it easy to talk about or something that felt secret? Was it something you always felt like you would have or was a financial struggle always expected in your mind? Really get to know what your internal dialogue was when you were young, and think about how it may have affected the choices you make now with your life, career, etc. Acknowledging where our bad and good habits or feelings come from can help us build strategies to change them.
3. Find a mentor or advisor that you feel totally comfortable discussing your financial situation and financial goals with. Creating a rich life isn’t just about making money; it’s about working with someone that understands that your life goals are specific to you and only you, and that is exactly what you should strive for. Support and accountability go hand in hand, and finding someone you can trust with these kinds of discussions is a great way to start having them.
4. Create a money ritual you look forward to. You might have an object that reminds you of your goals (at The Crystal Boutique, we love wearing our Pyrite Choker during morning meditation, which reminds us that personal power and money go hand in hand). Or you might have a sweet weekend routine with your partner, where you discuss the past week of expenses over your favorite meal. Whatever ritual you create, make sure you find some joy and peace in the process of taking back your power in your financial planning and maintenance.
Your self-discovery and eventual path to change may be short, but more likely it will be a lifelong endeavor of growth. There is no limit on self improvement or personal wealth and fulfillment, so take your time and enjoy the process. Remember that the right step towards healing is whatever step you can take first. For more help in creating your lifelong financial life plan - we recommend our friends at https://www.manafld.com!