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What are boundaries in relationships and how do we form them?

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What are boundaries in relationships and how do we form them?

Ohhhh boundaries....something that never quite made sense to me until I realized mine were being crossed to the point of me completely losing myself to love someone else.   

Boundaries are what protect our self worth essentially - while they are not walls, they are a protective barrier that keeps us choosing ourselves and our authenticity over and over again - even if it means walking away from friends, lovers, jobs, or a conversation.  But how do we learn what our boundaries are?  How do we know if we are honoring them?

Boundaries are something that I "thought" I had mastered because I was a confident and overall happy person until I entered a toxic relationship (one of many, but this is the one that broke the camels back, for which I will be forever grateful).  It was through heartbreak that my heart actually broke open allowing me to realize all of the ways I was betraying myself in the process of loving someone else.  Choosing someone else (a lover, a boss, a mother that makes all your decisions for you) over yourself repeatedly will start to chip away at your self-worth little by little until you're left with a very uncomfortable child-like figure that is gasping for air in the form of love, praise, affection, connection, or recognition.  

We need boundaries in work.  We need boundaries in relationships.  We need boundaries with family.  

You've probably heard it time and time again but the universe will deliver situations to you that are a mirror for what needs healing.....thank you, universe. 

So whether you can't keep up with your workload (maybe you need to set a boundary with your boss because you're afraid to speak up for yourself - for which you need to figure out where that fear stems from), or your heart just broke into a million pieces but you somehow felt a little relief from being the only one putting their full heart into a relationship while you were holding onto the occasional breadcrumb of love (again, where in childhood did this fear based programming form?) - look at the loss or pain as the gift that gave you boundaries....the gift that taught you about what shit you won't put up with anymore because YOU HAVE BOUNDARIES because you honor your worth, you love yourself, and you only fill your cup with people who respect that and show up equally.

Cheers to breaking OPEN, raising our self worth, and honoring boundaries!  xoxo 

 

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